Last night I dreamt somebody loved me

30. I love my cat.

He can be a total jerk sometimes, and really annoying, and he has really sharp claws, and he can be standoffish, and he kills squirrels a lot in the summer, but he's really the best cat ever. I think after that kind of description, only my sister and I could still love him as much as we do.

here in my car

29. I love being home.

I didn't post because I was home. And I was distracted. And I didn't really feel like it. But I really love being home. Mostly it's just associated with the feeling of not having any responsibilities, and sleep. Lots of sleep. Also, my house is bigger than my dorm room. Which is always a plus, I guess..

How many things do we really have control over?

We watched this video today in Anthropology, and I think it's really well done. And I think everyone should watch it. It's 20 minutes long, but it holds your attention well.

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

Earn It.

28. I love Spaghetti.

I know I've been doing a lot of food related things (remind anyone of the 365 project? I just read through some of those recently, and y'all had a right to complain- I did a bunch of food related ones) but I don't care! I love Spaghetti. I made like half a box for dinner tonight, and I'm currently eating it for dinner (and since the whole box only cost one dollar, that's 50 cents, my friends. Fiscally that's good, morally- not so much. More on that later) with spaghetti sauce. It's a perfect comfort vegan dinner since I already love it so much. Literally when I'm starving I could just eat a huge bowl of spaghetti and I'd be good to go.

And I'm in a really good mood today! Yayy. And I'm staying up all night, because I'm on a REALLY weird sleep schedule right now. And I need to get stuff done.

When I first came to London, I was only sixteen.

27. I love skittles.

Did I already do this one? I don't think so. But I love skittles. They're one of the few candies I can eat right now, as long as they're not the ones with gelatin. I'm in a weird, bitter, despondent mood today/right now, so roommate bought me some skittles from the machine downstairs. And, as I mentioned before, they were the tropical kind, but somehow they tasted a little better this time.

As much as exercises in positive thinking can help improve your mood, it sucks to force myself to love something when there are so many things I don't love. I don't love having a really late registration date; I get inconvenienced every semester when I'm registering for classes because certain classes I need are offered at stupid times or are filled up, or classes that are listed that I can take that I get really excited about don't show up when I search for them. You get these professors who get mad at you for taking their class just to fulfill a requirement, which I get, but if I have no choice, and I'm stuck taking a class that was not on my radar at all, I feel like I'm completely disadvantaged. I don't like taking classes that I would not choose to take, and I'm sorry, as much as I try to improve my attitude about it, there is a certain level of my mental health that I have absolutely no control over. I guess I get to look forward to another semester taking classes I don't enjoy. Although, I shouldn't say that, I'll be taking Letterform, which I'm looking forward to, and Beth is taking it too, and I'll be taking Pres. Tech. at the same as one of my other roommates, which is always nice. It's always convenient to take classes with or at the same time as your best friends/roommates.

Conflict of the Orders

26. I love having the luxury of being able to sleep in until one in the afternoon four days in a row.

Scoff if you will. You'll recall my earlier post on loving to sleep, and loving having fridays off. This is like a culmination of those two. Sue me, I stay up late, and I sleep in. But this is exactly what happened this weekend. I stay up later than I should- I'm fully aware that it's a contradiction to the healthy life I try to lead. HOWEVER, when you have a roommate and other such external forces, it's difficult to always keep yourself on a sleeping schedge. That being said, even after staying up until 3 am on Saturday watching Bourne Identity with people, I still chose to stay up until 4 am to finish watching Raiders of the Lost Ark on my laptop.

Oh and in case anyone is wondering, I don't have class until 2:30 on Mondays, which is what makes this little arrangement possible.

waiting for a flash of enlightenment in all this blood and thunder

25. I love Amy's Organic.

I love this brand. I don't think I've ever eaten an Amy's product that I haven't been satisfied with. For those who have never eaten Amy's, it's an organic frozen and prepackaged food company that only sells vegetarian meals (and vegan). I always really liked their Mac and Cheese until I realized it had about 15 grams of fat. They make really good non-dairy bean and rice burritos and sell a variety of different cuisines. Currently, my favorite product of theirs would have to be the California Veggie Burger, which is the best Vegan burger substitute I've tasted, and maybe the best burger substitute overall (maybe just besides Morningstar Farms' Spicy Black Bean Burger). If you've not tried Amy's before, I'd totally recommend it. Although I'm not super into the idea of advocating buying stuff with a lot of packaging, (and it's a little more expensive than normal frozen fare), it's really convenient if, like me, you live in a dorm room and don't get the opportunity to cook quite that often.

Also, I went grocery shopping today and I'm proud of myself for being able to get so much stuff on the cheap: a box of whole wheat spaghetti, pasta sauce, 2 cans of chili beans, flatbreads, and spinach= 9 dollars. I was going to get bananas, too, but I put them back, and this is the time when I regret that decision, especially since they were so cheap, but I was worried about running out of money. It's my goal to not eat from the food place at school this week (funds are low there, too) and force myself to live cheaply and happily on my healthy food victories.

Alone here in the kitchen, I feel there's something missing.

Vegan brownies will never be a good decision. At least not the way I made them tonight. I will need a nuclear explosion to get them out of the pan.

They taste okay, though.

Dear I fear we're facing a problem

24. I love ridiculous dreams.

I had a dream last night where I was in New York maybe for some reason? and I had to go move the car, so I was driving around, and I think maybe the mob might have been after me, but it wasn't a big deal at all. And then I guess I might have been at school or something, and my cousin Sam went to Stout and lived across the street, and cousin Maggie lived with him, and cousin Sarah visited them a lot, too. And Sarah had given birth to a goldfish, but Sam took care of it. And then he made me babysit it, and it told me it wanted an ice cream cone, so I fed it some ice cream with a tiny teaspoon. I realized how ridiculous this was even in a dream, so to be really self-aware and ridiculous I put as my facebook status: "just fed my nephew goldfish ice cream with a tiny spoon, and now going with a bunch of giraffes to go see Gattacca in the theaters- guess which one I actually did?" If that seems confusing, then good. I don't want to live in a world where that dream makes sense.

Every day's an endless stream of cigarettes and magazines

23. I love when the vending machine gives you two of something.

If that seems really random, then it is. I went down the vending machines in my basement tonight with the hopes of getting some skittles, and the machine spit out one bag, and the next bag seemed so close to coming out, so my roommate and I "coaxed" the machine a little bit, and what do you know? Free skittles. But too bad they were the tropical kind, and not regular. That would have been better. But I won't argue with free candy gifted to me by the universe.

It's not considered a very good idea to take a taxi to the scene of a crime

22. I love Skype.

I do not love Skype's technical errors. But last night Tianna and I had the chance to talk for about two hours. We had the video going for awhile, but it wasn't working, so we just talked. Which is nicer than talking on the phone, because you get your hands free. It was nice to just talk. I got to complain to her about a bunch of things, as did she to me. It makes me excited to think that I'll be home in less than a week, and when I come back I'll only have a few weeks of school left.

Control yourself- take only what you need from it

21. I love Indiana Jones.

I love him I love him I love him.

On Wednesday there was a hockey game that my roommate had on the TV, and since I worked in the art building after my class was finished, I didn't have any homework. I needed a distraction, and the night before I had gotten a ridiculous urge to watch The Last Crusade. Whenever anyone mentions optical illusions, or I see an example of an illusory correlation I automatically want to watch Last Crusade (there are examples of both in the movie) (and I know that's a really dorky thing to know). I just love Indiana Jones so much. Watching those movies gives me the greatest comfort I could ever ask for. Behind The Princess Bride, it's probably the movie I've watched the most in my life. Last Crusade, that is. It's my second favorite movie of all time. First being Back to the Future, of course. People always think that Star Wars is my favorite movie trilogy, and they'd be close, but Indiana Jones takes it. Although I do have a lot more Star Wars memorabilia, it's easier to have R2D2 t-shirts than to have a souvenir whip.

When I get lonely, I visit the Indiana Jones Wikipedia page.

Down and Out in Paris and London

Hey, remember the other day when I made a slammin' apple crisp? Of course you do. Well, EDIT, I made another one tonight and it was even better. I was working in the art building until about 10 tonight so I came back and had a veggie burger, but needed a sweet. This time I made it more elaborate with flax seeds and almonds. I get excited at how culinary I can be sometimes. I won't post a picture though, because my roommate is "sleeping".

Good luck, don't you feel so bad, just don't get your hopes up

20. I love surprises!

Caroline came and visited me out of the blue today. Apparently a few different people thought it was a good idea for me to have a visitor; this is what I gather. I was working on a project in my Design Theory and Methods class and I was kind of on a roll, and I had considered staying and working down in the art building until my next class. But that would have been three hours, and I realized that I literally forgot to eat today, and I wanted to shower, so I went back up to north campus to do all of those things. I had to get my spare keys because for the first time ever, I forgot my keys in my room, and then when I got to my floor I saw this little blonde creature cloaked in black (that's probably the best way to describe Caroline) sitting by my door. And she brought me good tidings in the form of Chipotle, which tidied up the whole "haven't eaten" issue. And then we talked for awhile about school and graphic design, and possible therapy options. And she gave me my Transmission t-shirt (transmish-ten) that I helped with screen printing. Then she left and I showered and went to class and am working on my aforementioned project for DTM. Productivity!!

that silent sense of content

I hate days when I just feel negative. I think I've been feeling negative all day, but I'm just noticing it now. I got out of class early, so that was nice, but it didn't put me in a good mood. I went to the library to work on stuff, but I couldn't focus. Instead of enjoying the sunny weather, I was more resentful than anything because it was making me hot and the sun was in my eyes. I moved to a spot on the other side of the library where there were no windows, but the internet was considerably slower. I decided to leave early because I was hungry and being unproductive. But not before I checked out "The Left Hand of Darkness" and "Veganomicon". And my computer charger has decided to completely stop working, because it's too much to ask that it charges my computer when I plug it in. I had to go get a new charger. That was nice, actually. I didn't eat since breakfast, so when I was walking home I picked up a can of chili beans. I made a cup of quinoa and then put in the chili beans- salt, cayenne pepper. Boom. It's pretty good.

And now I'm just sitting here, and nothing is particularly putting me in a bad mood, but nothing is putting me in a good mood.

Letters to a young poet

19. I love writing lists pertaining to literally anything and everything.

1. I'm "studying" and "doing homework" in the library right now, but it's so sunny outside I can't concentrate. Not in the way of "Oh gosh, I wish I could be outside right now, it's so beautiful out" but in the way that I'm really freaking annoyed at how warm it's making it right here, and how the sun is in my eyes.

2. However, I see from the reflection on my computer screen that it makes my hair look blonder; that's a plus I suppose.

3. I really miss writing things. I don't get enough written assignments these days that aren't technical or short write-ups about articles I read. Not that I ever wrote a ton for the Southerner (I miss movie reviews), but I miss writing candidly- article style. Not academic. It may force me to try to write for the Stoutonia next year. Or just blog more often.

4. But since people never comment, maybe I'll blog less again.

5. I can't say enough how I want it to be summer.

6. But I need to make sure that I don't have anything hanging over my head.

7. My parents visited this weekend, but all the wanted to do was talk about school, and I don't think they realized how depressed they were making me. So I'm saying it now.

8. Annie Hall is one of the most overrated movies ever.

9. And Hannah and Her Sisters is an incredibly underrated movie. (So is Manhattan)

10. Woody Allen is a genius no matter what, though. (Those three went together)

11. I want some vegetarian chili right now, as I realize I haven't eaten since breakfast.

12. I would get more excited at the prospect of my legs being slightly skinnier right now, but I have no money to buy new jeans, so it's more annoying.

13. This wasn't a really traditional "I Love" post, but it did the job in a pinch, don't you think?

You know what all my faces mean

18. I love cooking/ general preparing food things.

I think it may relate also to my interest in health and nutrition, I like to try to make things that are healthier, or depending on what mood I'm in, far less healthy (this is usually on a saturday night when I've lost track of time and haven't eaten anything). In my dorm room, I generally find it much more interesting to cook and prepare my dinners because I have many more limitations. It's like "let's see what I can make for dinner tonight with quinoa, almonds, flax seeds, vegetables, hummus, and a microwave-- go!" Next year I'll be living in a suite with a kitchenette and a full sized (thank the heavens) fridge, and NO fire hazards to worry about (hello, toaster). And several roommates to cook for. I think I will really hit my stride, not to boast, but I have to assume I'll get super into cooking and I hope my roommates will allow me to make them my guinea pigs.

I made this tonight in my microwave:

An abbreviated version of an apple crisp. Peeled, chopped apple, cinnamon, vegan butter, and oats. Microwave for 2 minutes- voila. And it's num.

Hell is other people

17. I love Criminal Minds.

I think if you've seen my facebook or know me in person, you know this. I have loved this show for awhile, but then as I've mentioned, I had to give it up because I was getting paranoid. Then over spring break I got back into it because I couldn't stand not watching anymore, and my roommate and I have been obsessed ever since. So it's not a super recent obsession, but it's certainly been amped up in the past month. I'm completely caught up with the series, and they recently "killed off" one of the characters, and I cried so much. I think the only other time I've cried that much was when Lost ended. I know, that's a pretty huge comparison, the finale of my favorite show, which was sad in it's own right. But such is my life when I get attached to things.

There were too many colors

16. I love not having class on fridays

I love being able to sleep in and have a long weekend every weekend. I love being able to relax, or catch up on homework. Some people might look at how I spend my fridays and think I'm wasting an entire day, but I don't care. Everyone needs those days once in awhile. I need those days probably more often than most people. I'm too unpleasant without them.

We all go a little mad sometimes

15. I love Saltines and Sprite.

This is a really good 'I feel sick snack.' I was feeling sick yesterday, stomach flu-wise, and so I got myself some Saltines and Sierra Mist (I guess my school is too cool to sell Sprite) and had them for lunch. It's the secret to life. Although I still felt ill the rest of the day. Whenever I eat this sick snack, I think of staying home from school when I was younger, and we would actually get to drink pop, which we were never allowed to at home at that time, and I'd watch Star Wars (most vivid memory is Return of the Jedi.) I can think of nothing better to do when one is sick.

I'm feeling better now, by the way, but still not completely awesome.

It's so stupid and selfish all the same

14. I love this weather.

It's so warm out today. So pleasantly sunny and not too warm, but not chilly. I was walking back from class and the clock on the bank said 71 degrees. I have a hard time believing that, but still, SO nice out today. Although that made it all the more stuffy when I was in Anthropology which is located in the notoriously warm Harvey Hall.

I do NOT love being physically abused my my roommate. She slapped me really hard on the back and I freaked out in the hallway, and I ran and complained to my RA. I asked him if he would kick her out of the building, so she's on her way out now. I won't miss her at all.

It had brought melancholy across his passions.

13. I love freshly laundered bedding.

I did my laundry last night, and I decided yesterday that I was going to wash my bedding, too, which I don't wash nearly as often as my clothes. It's something that doesn't bother me when it's not technically "clean" but it's so fresh and clean it's so much nicer to fall asleep in (although if today wasn't advisement day I'm sure I would have slept a lot better). I also love having freshly cleaned clothes, but I don't think it's quite as exciting.

As I mentioned today is advisement day, so I love not having classes, but I do not love having several meetings to go to, especially at 8 in the morning. It wasn't so much of an issue this semester, but what I do NOT love is a lot of people use the opportunity of not having classes to get drunk and party the night before, and be incredibly loud in the dorms. Ugh.

set me free, set me free

12. I love tastespotting.com

Maddi turned me on to this website sometime early this fall and I check it every single day. It has a bunch of amazing photographs of delicious (and sometimes maybe not so delicious) looking food. Anybody who spends enough time with me and sees the websites I go to knows that I frequent primarily food blogs. Mostly because I love to eat food and also think about cooking it (in theory I'm a great cook, but I have yet to really prove my skills). I also have a huge interest in health and nutrition, which tastespotting isn't generally biased towards, but once and awhile there will be good healthy recipes. Not usually a good idea to look at when I'm really hungry, and especially during lent it's been hard looking at delicious things I can't have. But when I'm well fed and it's not lent, it's my favorite time-suck ever.

Why would you lie about anything at all?

11. I love visitors!

Yesterday Emily and Derek drove to Menom to come visit me. We went to sit-down pizza hut, and then walked around Walmart (for lack of me being creative and thinking of stuff for us to do) and then we went to go see Source Code at the Cinemagic. I just love having visitors because it's like having a little piece of home come to me. I don't get visitors that often, but it's always nice because it's like getting to go out and do something fun. But then it also reminds me that I'm not home and I still have to be in school for many weeks still.

every one of you is fired

10. I love my roommate.

I think she jokingly suggested I write this one, but I was already planning on it. We have THE most ridiculous inside jokes and insults that we have for each other. We bond over so much stuff, pop-culture or otherwise. I never thought I would find someone after high school that I would be able to have a crazy weird bond with. There are SO many things that special about our relationship/roommateship. Lately there have just been so many ridiculous things. There were a few days when we were obsessed with writing *~*LiKe ThIs, U mAd?*~* and every time I would think about stupid it was and crack up about it (I am currently cracking up about it). I could probably write a book on all of our weird isms. Lately, weekend evenings have involved both of us puzzle-pieced on the futon watching criminal minds on our laptops.

I think I'll just leave it there.

I came here with a load, and it feels so much lighter now I've met you

9. I love long deep talks.

There are a few people who I always having really good talks with. I guess it depends on the situation or where I am in my life, but it's always great to say how you feel. You get on a roll and you can confess everything about yourself that you thought might be too personal or awkward. I always have the best most insightful talks with my friend Beth. It will often happen after we watch movies together, we just end up talking for hours about things. She's so good to put up with me during those times, too. When I get into "long insightful talk" mode, I get really excited and I talk too fast, or I am constantly losing my train of thought and my story ends up going nowhere. There are certainly other people who I am able to have this type of conversation with, but Beth and I always connect on a lot of levels, which is just so nice to have once in awhile.

On a semi-related note, Beth and I did a double feature of The Fighter and 127 hours, neither of which she had seen, both of which I had seen. Such good movies, both of them.