Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have

Everybody's always trying to get me to blog, and I always say the same thing when the ridiculous amount of sassing piles up- I blog when I choose to, not because people want me to. That's the only way I ever enjoy it. I'm not blogging because it's my job, I do it because I want to when I want to. I absolutely do not care whether you're happy with how often/not often I update.

My niece, Laney Fae was born since I last posted. I've been able to spend a fair amount of time with her, considering I'm at school most of the time. She's an adorable little thing. She looks just like my brother. Everyone is pretty excited to have her here.

This isn't the best photo. I haven't been able to get good photos on my phone of her.

Also, I turned 21 a few weeks ago. I'd be lying if I didn't say that I truly appreciate being able to order alcohol in a restaurant if I choose, and be able to buy it for myself. I have a bottle of Merlot in my pantry right now. It shall be delicious.

And for my birthday, a certain individual who shall remain nameless, sent me 21 red roses over three days at school, for my birthday, as well as other incredibly awesome gifts. Whoever this person is, they sound awesome, right?

Again, this isn't a very good picture, but it's the best one I have. They're all dead now, of course. I think it would be a little morbid to post pictures of 21 dead roses.

no dungeonmaster worth his weight in geldings goes anywhere without his 20 sided die

Ugh, y'all, I've been so obnoxiously proud/obsessed with myself this week and my healthy eating. Having a kitchenette is what my life has been missing. Having a very small crock pot is what my life has been missing. Apparently my life has been missing many things, which are now found. Going back to my days of veganism/vegetarianism (which have not been forgotten, just put on hold, working my way back there) and capitalizing on my recent purchase of a 10 dollar crock pot from target I've been feeding myself this week from one meal for dinner. Supplementing with Costco purchases (a place I frickin love more than life itself) I've gotten groceries from the co-op this week (produce, sale grocery items) on the cheaps and have been, as previously stated, obnoxiously proud of myself to say the least. I find when I'm at school and I have a more selective crop of foods to work with, I'm much more innovative. Which makes me more nutritious. But this weekend I plan to eat pizza. And ice cream. Which is whatevs, it somewhat negates the healthiness of this week, but baby steps, my friends.

These Days

Ugh, having a blog is liek, hard work y'allz. I usually only update when I'm depressed, or bored, or being productive, or extremely happy, which I have been all of those at some point or another this summer, but I don't ever update when I'm at home. All the people who read this are home and I see them most any day anyways.

few things:

-I'm moved into my apartment

-I started classes, whatevs

-I need to stop forgetting that I hate tomatoes, and buying them and cooking them in things, and then just picking them out anyway. Unless it's pasta. Icks.

-Like, a whole lot of other stuff that I'm not going to get into on my public blog. But I've been busy this summer.

It's alright it's alright it's alright

At this time last year, I was home, I had served jury duty, I was done with my freshman year of College, I was so happy to be home in my city, and I didn't have a job.

Now, I'm done with Sophomore year, which was arguably worse in terms of having classes that I really hated, but 20 times better socially. I will forever love my awesome roommate, who I won't be living with again in the near future, but we'll still hang out all the time. I didn't serve jury duty this summer, but looking back, jury duty is awesome, people. I'm happy to be home, but I still miss Menomonie, and...people. Which I never thought I'd say. And I have a job.

he left the bloodstains on the carpet

There's like...a lot of days in April. I don't think I'm going to keep going with the 'I Loves' just because I missed so many days. But I did love a lot of things, and still do.

I'll just make a non-descript list of things I love to even things out:

I love diet pop, I love Michael Scott, I love Twitter, I love tumblr, I love David Bowie, I love magazines, I love my parents, I love my cabin, I love riding my bike in the summer, I love my school chums, I love my home chums, I love my phone when it works, I love The Mighty Boosh, and I love my novelty t-shirts.

come on let your colors burst

And this one is a total contradiction to my last post:

32. I love the Christmas-Easter cheesy potatoes.

They were my favorite food growing up. They're really yummy, and I was excited to be able to eat them on Easter, although it took me awhile to work up the courage to eat dairy. I'm going to try to craft a vegan version this summer. We'll see how that turns out..

Who Dat Ninja?

Ugh, I know that I'M the one who set out expectations for this month, but things got away from me, as they often do. It could often be considered a good thing if I'm not blogging, because that means I'm of good mental health. Which I have been these past few weeks. Extremely good mental health.

31. I think my thing for this day was I Love Being Vegan?

This was the day before Easter, and I'm the type of person who does Lent all the way until Easter, so it was my last day of veganism. Although I can tell you that I've eaten some animal products since Lent has been over, I really really enjoyed veganism. I'll probably end up doing it for the rest of my life at some point. I know it's a selfish and lazy attitude to be like "I'll get around to doing it at some point, but it's not practical right now." It's actually quite practical, all the time, but I think in order to not drive myself crazy, I'm going to loosen up a little bit at least while I'm still not an official grown-up.

The amount of crap give Vegan diets is just so ridiculous and unjust. Have these people ever TRIED living vegan? It's wonderful, and you feel so much better all the time (you obviously have to be smart about it), but people cry if you take away their daily cheeseburger. People can act so entitled to eating animal products and it's just so backwards.

My poor parents are going to have to suffer through their youngest daughters "enlightened socially conscious phase" this summer. But they'll eat black bean burgers if it kills them.

Last night I dreamt somebody loved me

30. I love my cat.

He can be a total jerk sometimes, and really annoying, and he has really sharp claws, and he can be standoffish, and he kills squirrels a lot in the summer, but he's really the best cat ever. I think after that kind of description, only my sister and I could still love him as much as we do.

here in my car

29. I love being home.

I didn't post because I was home. And I was distracted. And I didn't really feel like it. But I really love being home. Mostly it's just associated with the feeling of not having any responsibilities, and sleep. Lots of sleep. Also, my house is bigger than my dorm room. Which is always a plus, I guess..

How many things do we really have control over?

We watched this video today in Anthropology, and I think it's really well done. And I think everyone should watch it. It's 20 minutes long, but it holds your attention well.

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

Earn It.

28. I love Spaghetti.

I know I've been doing a lot of food related things (remind anyone of the 365 project? I just read through some of those recently, and y'all had a right to complain- I did a bunch of food related ones) but I don't care! I love Spaghetti. I made like half a box for dinner tonight, and I'm currently eating it for dinner (and since the whole box only cost one dollar, that's 50 cents, my friends. Fiscally that's good, morally- not so much. More on that later) with spaghetti sauce. It's a perfect comfort vegan dinner since I already love it so much. Literally when I'm starving I could just eat a huge bowl of spaghetti and I'd be good to go.

And I'm in a really good mood today! Yayy. And I'm staying up all night, because I'm on a REALLY weird sleep schedule right now. And I need to get stuff done.

When I first came to London, I was only sixteen.

27. I love skittles.

Did I already do this one? I don't think so. But I love skittles. They're one of the few candies I can eat right now, as long as they're not the ones with gelatin. I'm in a weird, bitter, despondent mood today/right now, so roommate bought me some skittles from the machine downstairs. And, as I mentioned before, they were the tropical kind, but somehow they tasted a little better this time.

As much as exercises in positive thinking can help improve your mood, it sucks to force myself to love something when there are so many things I don't love. I don't love having a really late registration date; I get inconvenienced every semester when I'm registering for classes because certain classes I need are offered at stupid times or are filled up, or classes that are listed that I can take that I get really excited about don't show up when I search for them. You get these professors who get mad at you for taking their class just to fulfill a requirement, which I get, but if I have no choice, and I'm stuck taking a class that was not on my radar at all, I feel like I'm completely disadvantaged. I don't like taking classes that I would not choose to take, and I'm sorry, as much as I try to improve my attitude about it, there is a certain level of my mental health that I have absolutely no control over. I guess I get to look forward to another semester taking classes I don't enjoy. Although, I shouldn't say that, I'll be taking Letterform, which I'm looking forward to, and Beth is taking it too, and I'll be taking Pres. Tech. at the same as one of my other roommates, which is always nice. It's always convenient to take classes with or at the same time as your best friends/roommates.

Conflict of the Orders

26. I love having the luxury of being able to sleep in until one in the afternoon four days in a row.

Scoff if you will. You'll recall my earlier post on loving to sleep, and loving having fridays off. This is like a culmination of those two. Sue me, I stay up late, and I sleep in. But this is exactly what happened this weekend. I stay up later than I should- I'm fully aware that it's a contradiction to the healthy life I try to lead. HOWEVER, when you have a roommate and other such external forces, it's difficult to always keep yourself on a sleeping schedge. That being said, even after staying up until 3 am on Saturday watching Bourne Identity with people, I still chose to stay up until 4 am to finish watching Raiders of the Lost Ark on my laptop.

Oh and in case anyone is wondering, I don't have class until 2:30 on Mondays, which is what makes this little arrangement possible.

waiting for a flash of enlightenment in all this blood and thunder

25. I love Amy's Organic.

I love this brand. I don't think I've ever eaten an Amy's product that I haven't been satisfied with. For those who have never eaten Amy's, it's an organic frozen and prepackaged food company that only sells vegetarian meals (and vegan). I always really liked their Mac and Cheese until I realized it had about 15 grams of fat. They make really good non-dairy bean and rice burritos and sell a variety of different cuisines. Currently, my favorite product of theirs would have to be the California Veggie Burger, which is the best Vegan burger substitute I've tasted, and maybe the best burger substitute overall (maybe just besides Morningstar Farms' Spicy Black Bean Burger). If you've not tried Amy's before, I'd totally recommend it. Although I'm not super into the idea of advocating buying stuff with a lot of packaging, (and it's a little more expensive than normal frozen fare), it's really convenient if, like me, you live in a dorm room and don't get the opportunity to cook quite that often.

Also, I went grocery shopping today and I'm proud of myself for being able to get so much stuff on the cheap: a box of whole wheat spaghetti, pasta sauce, 2 cans of chili beans, flatbreads, and spinach= 9 dollars. I was going to get bananas, too, but I put them back, and this is the time when I regret that decision, especially since they were so cheap, but I was worried about running out of money. It's my goal to not eat from the food place at school this week (funds are low there, too) and force myself to live cheaply and happily on my healthy food victories.

Alone here in the kitchen, I feel there's something missing.

Vegan brownies will never be a good decision. At least not the way I made them tonight. I will need a nuclear explosion to get them out of the pan.

They taste okay, though.

Dear I fear we're facing a problem

24. I love ridiculous dreams.

I had a dream last night where I was in New York maybe for some reason? and I had to go move the car, so I was driving around, and I think maybe the mob might have been after me, but it wasn't a big deal at all. And then I guess I might have been at school or something, and my cousin Sam went to Stout and lived across the street, and cousin Maggie lived with him, and cousin Sarah visited them a lot, too. And Sarah had given birth to a goldfish, but Sam took care of it. And then he made me babysit it, and it told me it wanted an ice cream cone, so I fed it some ice cream with a tiny teaspoon. I realized how ridiculous this was even in a dream, so to be really self-aware and ridiculous I put as my facebook status: "just fed my nephew goldfish ice cream with a tiny spoon, and now going with a bunch of giraffes to go see Gattacca in the theaters- guess which one I actually did?" If that seems confusing, then good. I don't want to live in a world where that dream makes sense.

Every day's an endless stream of cigarettes and magazines

23. I love when the vending machine gives you two of something.

If that seems really random, then it is. I went down the vending machines in my basement tonight with the hopes of getting some skittles, and the machine spit out one bag, and the next bag seemed so close to coming out, so my roommate and I "coaxed" the machine a little bit, and what do you know? Free skittles. But too bad they were the tropical kind, and not regular. That would have been better. But I won't argue with free candy gifted to me by the universe.

It's not considered a very good idea to take a taxi to the scene of a crime

22. I love Skype.

I do not love Skype's technical errors. But last night Tianna and I had the chance to talk for about two hours. We had the video going for awhile, but it wasn't working, so we just talked. Which is nicer than talking on the phone, because you get your hands free. It was nice to just talk. I got to complain to her about a bunch of things, as did she to me. It makes me excited to think that I'll be home in less than a week, and when I come back I'll only have a few weeks of school left.

Control yourself- take only what you need from it

21. I love Indiana Jones.

I love him I love him I love him.

On Wednesday there was a hockey game that my roommate had on the TV, and since I worked in the art building after my class was finished, I didn't have any homework. I needed a distraction, and the night before I had gotten a ridiculous urge to watch The Last Crusade. Whenever anyone mentions optical illusions, or I see an example of an illusory correlation I automatically want to watch Last Crusade (there are examples of both in the movie) (and I know that's a really dorky thing to know). I just love Indiana Jones so much. Watching those movies gives me the greatest comfort I could ever ask for. Behind The Princess Bride, it's probably the movie I've watched the most in my life. Last Crusade, that is. It's my second favorite movie of all time. First being Back to the Future, of course. People always think that Star Wars is my favorite movie trilogy, and they'd be close, but Indiana Jones takes it. Although I do have a lot more Star Wars memorabilia, it's easier to have R2D2 t-shirts than to have a souvenir whip.

When I get lonely, I visit the Indiana Jones Wikipedia page.

Down and Out in Paris and London

Hey, remember the other day when I made a slammin' apple crisp? Of course you do. Well, EDIT, I made another one tonight and it was even better. I was working in the art building until about 10 tonight so I came back and had a veggie burger, but needed a sweet. This time I made it more elaborate with flax seeds and almonds. I get excited at how culinary I can be sometimes. I won't post a picture though, because my roommate is "sleeping".

Good luck, don't you feel so bad, just don't get your hopes up

20. I love surprises!

Caroline came and visited me out of the blue today. Apparently a few different people thought it was a good idea for me to have a visitor; this is what I gather. I was working on a project in my Design Theory and Methods class and I was kind of on a roll, and I had considered staying and working down in the art building until my next class. But that would have been three hours, and I realized that I literally forgot to eat today, and I wanted to shower, so I went back up to north campus to do all of those things. I had to get my spare keys because for the first time ever, I forgot my keys in my room, and then when I got to my floor I saw this little blonde creature cloaked in black (that's probably the best way to describe Caroline) sitting by my door. And she brought me good tidings in the form of Chipotle, which tidied up the whole "haven't eaten" issue. And then we talked for awhile about school and graphic design, and possible therapy options. And she gave me my Transmission t-shirt (transmish-ten) that I helped with screen printing. Then she left and I showered and went to class and am working on my aforementioned project for DTM. Productivity!!

that silent sense of content

I hate days when I just feel negative. I think I've been feeling negative all day, but I'm just noticing it now. I got out of class early, so that was nice, but it didn't put me in a good mood. I went to the library to work on stuff, but I couldn't focus. Instead of enjoying the sunny weather, I was more resentful than anything because it was making me hot and the sun was in my eyes. I moved to a spot on the other side of the library where there were no windows, but the internet was considerably slower. I decided to leave early because I was hungry and being unproductive. But not before I checked out "The Left Hand of Darkness" and "Veganomicon". And my computer charger has decided to completely stop working, because it's too much to ask that it charges my computer when I plug it in. I had to go get a new charger. That was nice, actually. I didn't eat since breakfast, so when I was walking home I picked up a can of chili beans. I made a cup of quinoa and then put in the chili beans- salt, cayenne pepper. Boom. It's pretty good.

And now I'm just sitting here, and nothing is particularly putting me in a bad mood, but nothing is putting me in a good mood.

Letters to a young poet

19. I love writing lists pertaining to literally anything and everything.

1. I'm "studying" and "doing homework" in the library right now, but it's so sunny outside I can't concentrate. Not in the way of "Oh gosh, I wish I could be outside right now, it's so beautiful out" but in the way that I'm really freaking annoyed at how warm it's making it right here, and how the sun is in my eyes.

2. However, I see from the reflection on my computer screen that it makes my hair look blonder; that's a plus I suppose.

3. I really miss writing things. I don't get enough written assignments these days that aren't technical or short write-ups about articles I read. Not that I ever wrote a ton for the Southerner (I miss movie reviews), but I miss writing candidly- article style. Not academic. It may force me to try to write for the Stoutonia next year. Or just blog more often.

4. But since people never comment, maybe I'll blog less again.

5. I can't say enough how I want it to be summer.

6. But I need to make sure that I don't have anything hanging over my head.

7. My parents visited this weekend, but all the wanted to do was talk about school, and I don't think they realized how depressed they were making me. So I'm saying it now.

8. Annie Hall is one of the most overrated movies ever.

9. And Hannah and Her Sisters is an incredibly underrated movie. (So is Manhattan)

10. Woody Allen is a genius no matter what, though. (Those three went together)

11. I want some vegetarian chili right now, as I realize I haven't eaten since breakfast.

12. I would get more excited at the prospect of my legs being slightly skinnier right now, but I have no money to buy new jeans, so it's more annoying.

13. This wasn't a really traditional "I Love" post, but it did the job in a pinch, don't you think?

You know what all my faces mean

18. I love cooking/ general preparing food things.

I think it may relate also to my interest in health and nutrition, I like to try to make things that are healthier, or depending on what mood I'm in, far less healthy (this is usually on a saturday night when I've lost track of time and haven't eaten anything). In my dorm room, I generally find it much more interesting to cook and prepare my dinners because I have many more limitations. It's like "let's see what I can make for dinner tonight with quinoa, almonds, flax seeds, vegetables, hummus, and a microwave-- go!" Next year I'll be living in a suite with a kitchenette and a full sized (thank the heavens) fridge, and NO fire hazards to worry about (hello, toaster). And several roommates to cook for. I think I will really hit my stride, not to boast, but I have to assume I'll get super into cooking and I hope my roommates will allow me to make them my guinea pigs.

I made this tonight in my microwave:

An abbreviated version of an apple crisp. Peeled, chopped apple, cinnamon, vegan butter, and oats. Microwave for 2 minutes- voila. And it's num.

Hell is other people

17. I love Criminal Minds.

I think if you've seen my facebook or know me in person, you know this. I have loved this show for awhile, but then as I've mentioned, I had to give it up because I was getting paranoid. Then over spring break I got back into it because I couldn't stand not watching anymore, and my roommate and I have been obsessed ever since. So it's not a super recent obsession, but it's certainly been amped up in the past month. I'm completely caught up with the series, and they recently "killed off" one of the characters, and I cried so much. I think the only other time I've cried that much was when Lost ended. I know, that's a pretty huge comparison, the finale of my favorite show, which was sad in it's own right. But such is my life when I get attached to things.

There were too many colors

16. I love not having class on fridays

I love being able to sleep in and have a long weekend every weekend. I love being able to relax, or catch up on homework. Some people might look at how I spend my fridays and think I'm wasting an entire day, but I don't care. Everyone needs those days once in awhile. I need those days probably more often than most people. I'm too unpleasant without them.

We all go a little mad sometimes

15. I love Saltines and Sprite.

This is a really good 'I feel sick snack.' I was feeling sick yesterday, stomach flu-wise, and so I got myself some Saltines and Sierra Mist (I guess my school is too cool to sell Sprite) and had them for lunch. It's the secret to life. Although I still felt ill the rest of the day. Whenever I eat this sick snack, I think of staying home from school when I was younger, and we would actually get to drink pop, which we were never allowed to at home at that time, and I'd watch Star Wars (most vivid memory is Return of the Jedi.) I can think of nothing better to do when one is sick.

I'm feeling better now, by the way, but still not completely awesome.

It's so stupid and selfish all the same

14. I love this weather.

It's so warm out today. So pleasantly sunny and not too warm, but not chilly. I was walking back from class and the clock on the bank said 71 degrees. I have a hard time believing that, but still, SO nice out today. Although that made it all the more stuffy when I was in Anthropology which is located in the notoriously warm Harvey Hall.

I do NOT love being physically abused my my roommate. She slapped me really hard on the back and I freaked out in the hallway, and I ran and complained to my RA. I asked him if he would kick her out of the building, so she's on her way out now. I won't miss her at all.

It had brought melancholy across his passions.

13. I love freshly laundered bedding.

I did my laundry last night, and I decided yesterday that I was going to wash my bedding, too, which I don't wash nearly as often as my clothes. It's something that doesn't bother me when it's not technically "clean" but it's so fresh and clean it's so much nicer to fall asleep in (although if today wasn't advisement day I'm sure I would have slept a lot better). I also love having freshly cleaned clothes, but I don't think it's quite as exciting.

As I mentioned today is advisement day, so I love not having classes, but I do not love having several meetings to go to, especially at 8 in the morning. It wasn't so much of an issue this semester, but what I do NOT love is a lot of people use the opportunity of not having classes to get drunk and party the night before, and be incredibly loud in the dorms. Ugh.

set me free, set me free

12. I love tastespotting.com

Maddi turned me on to this website sometime early this fall and I check it every single day. It has a bunch of amazing photographs of delicious (and sometimes maybe not so delicious) looking food. Anybody who spends enough time with me and sees the websites I go to knows that I frequent primarily food blogs. Mostly because I love to eat food and also think about cooking it (in theory I'm a great cook, but I have yet to really prove my skills). I also have a huge interest in health and nutrition, which tastespotting isn't generally biased towards, but once and awhile there will be good healthy recipes. Not usually a good idea to look at when I'm really hungry, and especially during lent it's been hard looking at delicious things I can't have. But when I'm well fed and it's not lent, it's my favorite time-suck ever.

Why would you lie about anything at all?

11. I love visitors!

Yesterday Emily and Derek drove to Menom to come visit me. We went to sit-down pizza hut, and then walked around Walmart (for lack of me being creative and thinking of stuff for us to do) and then we went to go see Source Code at the Cinemagic. I just love having visitors because it's like having a little piece of home come to me. I don't get visitors that often, but it's always nice because it's like getting to go out and do something fun. But then it also reminds me that I'm not home and I still have to be in school for many weeks still.

every one of you is fired

10. I love my roommate.

I think she jokingly suggested I write this one, but I was already planning on it. We have THE most ridiculous inside jokes and insults that we have for each other. We bond over so much stuff, pop-culture or otherwise. I never thought I would find someone after high school that I would be able to have a crazy weird bond with. There are SO many things that special about our relationship/roommateship. Lately there have just been so many ridiculous things. There were a few days when we were obsessed with writing *~*LiKe ThIs, U mAd?*~* and every time I would think about stupid it was and crack up about it (I am currently cracking up about it). I could probably write a book on all of our weird isms. Lately, weekend evenings have involved both of us puzzle-pieced on the futon watching criminal minds on our laptops.

I think I'll just leave it there.

I came here with a load, and it feels so much lighter now I've met you

9. I love long deep talks.

There are a few people who I always having really good talks with. I guess it depends on the situation or where I am in my life, but it's always great to say how you feel. You get on a roll and you can confess everything about yourself that you thought might be too personal or awkward. I always have the best most insightful talks with my friend Beth. It will often happen after we watch movies together, we just end up talking for hours about things. She's so good to put up with me during those times, too. When I get into "long insightful talk" mode, I get really excited and I talk too fast, or I am constantly losing my train of thought and my story ends up going nowhere. There are certainly other people who I am able to have this type of conversation with, but Beth and I always connect on a lot of levels, which is just so nice to have once in awhile.

On a semi-related note, Beth and I did a double feature of The Fighter and 127 hours, neither of which she had seen, both of which I had seen. Such good movies, both of them.

jellicle cats come out tonight

8. I love to sleep.

Hopefully most other normal people also enjoy sleeping. I probably love it more than the average person. Although I do quite often, I prefer not to function on little to no sleep (#artstudent). I love a good 12-hour night. I hate when people brag about only sleeping like 4 hours a night, and being all like "whatever, ndb, I'm fine." It's like, ugh, shut up, I guarantee you're tired. Also people who are like "I just can't sleep more than 6 hours."

I don't have any classes tomorrow or obligations. I plan to never wake up tomorrow. Much in the same vein that Peter Pan plans to never grow up.

Hi, I'm Owen Lars, and this is my girlfriend, Beru

7. I love John Mayer.

Sometimes I lose sight of this. I allow people's opinions of him to influence on how I feel about him. Let me say this here and now: I freakin' love John Mayer. I love his music, I used to/still kinda do love him personally. He's so talented. His voice will always calm me down, remind me of good times. I really don't listen to the radio, nor have I ever, so I have my own personal memories of listening his music (February 2005 was a big month for "Room for Squares")

'Victoria' has always been and will always be my favorite song of his. That and 'Daughters' were probably my top-played songs when I was 13.

(Sorry for how totally cheesy the video is. I couldn't find a good one with just the song)

Stand and face me, my love, and scatter the grace in your eyes

6. I love cake/ general baked goods.

I was having a hard time deciding what I love today. I'm not in a very good mood, which doesn't lend itself well to writing a positive blog post. Cake is something I coincidentally can't have right now because it's lent. I was thinking of things I would really like right now. Carrot cake (yum), chocolate cake, yellow cake, coffee cake; I would literally eat any of those in a heartbeat. As well as baked goods: croissants, cookies, muffins.

"You can't say that your favorite type of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying that your favorite type of cereal is breakfast cereal."

"I love breakfast cereal."

Some Unholy War

5. I love driving.

I don't get to drive very often when I'm at school. I had to use my roommate's car to drive to Fleet Farm (this won't get an entire post, but I also LOVE Fleet Farm) both last night and this morning. I always really enjoy driving, but last night I was driving over the bridge in town, and I was just like "I love this" and that was that. I can't believe I used to be scared of driving.

On another note, sometimes I wish I went to high school/college in 1997. That seems so specific, I know, but that was before facebook, before cell phones (kinda), before laptops (kinda). I think that's what college should be like (but now that I know what I would be missing, I can't give any of those things up). Bad fashion, but that's probably what I'll be saying about what I'm wearing today in 10 years. Good music (mostly..) depends on what genre. I never used to appreciate late nineties music (unless it was BSB and Britney Spears), but now I definitely do. Also, I think at that time, it was the height of me thinking people who were my current age were super cool.

Just a little love-letter to the past.

I'm a fool, too out of reach, I believe no one

4. I love this painting.

The Third of May 1808- Goya

I can never quite pinpoint what I love about it. I never really realized until now how it might be somehow construed that I'm sadistic and I love to see blood and gore. I love to see blood and gore, but I don't think I'm sadistic.

Last year on a final, I stated that I would love to hang this painting in my dining room. I just love it. The style, the subject, the colors. I do love Goya, but this is by far my favorite. I think I kind of think it's tragic and yet powerful. Does anyone agree, or am I alone on this one?

How can someone so young, sing words so sad?

3. I love my room.

I love my room so much. As messy as Maddi and I can get, when it's clean and fresh and tidy, it's wonderful (even when it's not, I still love it). We just cleaned it up today. We did dishes, I vacuumed, we took out trash and recycling, and I dusted the other day. We also bought groceries so now we're not so abysmally stocked with just junk food. We have a beautifully cozy, pretty room.

(this is not today, this was on my birthday)

The Dinner Party

Would it throw people off if I changed my blog layout? It's always been the same, and I guess for being a design student, I sure do have an ugly blog. This is probably going to be the kind of thing where I ask a legitimate question, and nobody actually comments. I don't know if anybody really reads this blog anymore, but comment if you have a preference either way.

Through the looking glass

2. I love TOMS.

I love Toms shoes so much. I have a red canvas pair, and then I just got a gray canvas pair in the mail today. (My birthday present, and for those of you keeping score at home, that was 5 months ago.) Just such a good cause, relatively inexpensive, comfortable, fashionable- the list goes on. It used to bug me when people would be confused when I said "it's a good cause" because they were like "they're just shoes..." but I think most people understand the idea of them now.

TOMS

everyone's so intimately rearranged

In a bid to be more positive, and to post more, and to steal ideas (i love stealing ideas) I'm going to post one thing each day that I love (Stolen from the one and only Rachel Louwsma- Party of Four!) I can be so negative sometimes and lose sight of the fact that I really love so many things and people. Although, bare with me, because most people are probably only used to my cynicism.

And I guess since I'm starting this near the tail end of the month (I didn't really feel like waiting) I'll do it until the end of April. I'll have to make sure that I love a lot of things.

1. I love Oreos.

Yeah, I guess that seems like something strange to kick this off with, but it's true, I love Oreos. I don't eat them obsessively like some people, in fact I really only eat them once a year, at the cabin, and those are usually peanut butter Oreos (so. good.) But last night I was looking for something junky to eat and I ended up buying a package of Oreos downstairs. Regular Oreos. I think besides the taste, the reason I love them so much is because my grandparents would always have them at their house (along with fig newtons) and every thursday night when we went there for dinner that would be the only snack we would have. Oreos and milk. I can still remember sitting on the area rug in the TV room, or up against the rocker eating Oreos and watching NBC's thursday night line-up. (If I ever eat Oreos while watching Friends, which I've done, it's a major flashback.)

So yeah, hopefully that's going to be the kind of thing I'll be posting.

Dig deep, and you'll find it.

Also, is it possible to develop dyslexia in your twenties? It's been taking me at least three times as long to type simple sentences lately. I keep spelling things wrong or accidentally writing the wrong word. I suppose I could google all of this. I suppose I just want a lot of attention, or something, right? Right.

I seem like a big bag of problems from all of my posts this week. I would say that I would quit making them so self-centered, but since it's my personal blog, I think that might defeat the purpose of having a blog in the first place.

Inclement Weather Advisory memo

Something I'm really happy about right now:

Due to the weather, classes after 12:10 are cancelled. Although this is a day that I only have one class anyway, if this were to happen before spring break, I would have had to go to first aid this morning. But since that class is only a quarter long, I don't have it anymore.

So mostly this blog says: I don't have class today.

Also:

I think I might be bi-polar.

I lift my street, I'm a guillotine.

A fact about myself:

I realized that every significant thought I've had in the past week, past few days has started with "I wish..." And many of my spoken statements have been that way, too. I'm honestly not sure what I'm supposed to do with that. I've been doing a lot of self reflection lately, and trying to figure out why I do the things I do, or what the things I do say about me. It's my understanding that it's a sign of weakness to begin all of your sentences with "I wish" and, I suppose to some extent that I'm not being proactive. A big hobby of mine is sitting around wishing stuff will get done.

This isn't a blog post I'm writing about procrastination WHILE I'm procrastinating, but it's just saying things that I wish I could change.

^I didn't write "....things that I wish I could change." on purpose. That was subconscious.

Blerg.

and now, by the way, if anyone is aware of my current school assignments, my chair just broke. I sat on it, and it broke. At this point, at 2 in the morning, there's nothing I can do to fix it.

I'm surprisingly calm about this. But that doesn't say anything for how I will feel about this at some point in the near future.

Responsibility. This is all my responsibility.

and then the storm of shit begins.

Well, it's the token "life sucks" post.

Life doesn't suck. But sometimes it sure feels like it. I'm bummed out about many things right now. Mostly things that were once in my control, and I have since let them go beyond my control. This is not completely about procrastination, this is also about dedication. I know that it's a horrible attitude to have towards things, but if I don't want to do something, I don't really give it my all. That happens a lot. To a lot of people. But I feel that that's a horrible attitude. However it's hard to reconcile those feelings when things just aren't right and there's a perfect storm of suck in your life. This probably seems kind of cryptic, but that's about as descriptive as I want to get.

I just will say that it's so easy to let things slip so slightly beyond the grasp of my control.

Well, I shouldn't say that. I have control over everything, but everything just seems more overwhelming and daunting.

I wouldn't read too much into this. My idea of being stressed out is not having enough time to sit around on my lazy ass and not do anything. I'm not saying that I shouldn't actually care about the things I'm stressing about right now, but I certainly need to stop acting like it's the end of the world. I need to find my happy medium between that and my nonchalance.

In other news...

It was spring break last week. I think that's probably why being at school right now sucks so much. It's a teaser of how life is like at home. I had just enough time to get comfortable. I had good times with the cat, friends, and family. Was (generally) well fed, slept (generally) well, and watched a lot of criminal minds. Which I stopped watching because of increased paranoia, but then I missed the characters too much.

I was working as a waitress at a cocktail bar

I had some weirdly vivid dreams last night. First, I had a dream that my family had moved into a new house. It was a really weird house, I can't really remember what it looked like, but it had a large-ish green porch and it seemed like it would probably be in Vermont or something, although I'm sure we were still in Minnesota. And then I was very aware of the fact that I could never go back to my old home again. And that depressed me very much.

And then I had a dream that seemed far less likely- that I had left my student ID, my safety glasses that I use for woodworking, and my safety badge, in France. When I was there 3 years ago. At a time when I didn't have any of those things. And of course the natural route was not to easily replace all of those things, but to go to france, and go to the house I stayed at, and asked for them back. Which is only interesting to me because I feel like I have all but forgot the useful phrases and skills for speaking to French people, but in my dream I spoke very clearly it all made sense. I know enough to know that it made sense. So in my subconscious, I still know French, apparently. And it reminded me how much I miss speaking another language. And it makes me mad at myself, because my computer came pre-loaded with Rosetta stone, I just need to choose a language. But alas, I've been too lazy. Maybe this summer..

Spectacular, Spectacular

I've been working on putting together my change of major application, and other odds and ends this afternoon, trying to catch up on certain things. I put Stand By Me on to have on in the background, and I had the most visceral reaction I've ever had to any movie I've ever watched. It was only the end that made me emotional, and it's not terribly emotional movie, other than guy-love friendship stuff and the nostalgia of it all. But even so, that's never happened before. Maybe I have residual feelings about River Phoenix being dead. And maybe I just needed a really good cry, but about what, I'm not sure.

In other news, The Oscars were great. Not in the sense that the show was great and funny, but all of the outcomes were great. James Franco and Anne Hathaway might *seem* like a good idea, but I wasn't really expecting much. As much as I love the Franco, he's never been good at hosting SNL, and neither has Anne Hathaway. Which is obviously not the same thing at all. But it's the same idea of having a go at being funny and being out of your element hosting something, so it's a fair comparison. And the rest of the show was stupid too. Why was there so much emphasis on old movies? I can see where they were trying to go with that, but it just came off as being weird. I agree with pretty much everyone who won their awards as much as I possibly could. For the major ones, that is. I really can't say I have any stock in who wins shorts, or documentaries, or documentary shorts. But Randy Newman, come on. That wasn't such a great song, and who cares about Randy Newman. And although I hadn't *really* seen any of the other Animated Features, I was bitter about Toy Story 3 winning. It didn't really mean much to me, and I get disenchanted with Pixar when it comes to the Oscars because everyone loves them and looks past other worthy movies (Fantastic Mr. Fox, anyone?) Other than that, I was very pleased with how things turned out. All the acting awards went to the right people. I don't want this to be a post where I wax on poetically about my feelings towards all these actors and movies, or give my full analysis, but....

I cried a little bit when Christian Bale won. Every time I looked at his hands and saw that he was holding an Oscar it just made me so proud because I know he deserves it, and as much crap as people give him for being a jerk that one time, or being kind of a weirdo a lot of the other time, he's so talented and such a great person. I feel similar about the other winners, especially Colin Firth and Natalie Portman. (Melissa Leo was phenom, but I have little stock in her personally).

The only award that surprised me was Tom Hooper winning for Best Director. He made a great movie, one of my favorites of the year, and directed great performances, but in my heart of hearts, I do think that David Fincher should have won. He did something amazing with a story about facebook. He made me like The Social Network, because I didn't think I would, but he did it right. I may have some misguided ideas about directing in general. I don't ever seem to understand where the academy is coming from a lot of the time (although, their word is not the be all end all for SURE). Your movie either has to be truly amazing, or have a lot of commercial appeal (which is most definitely the case for when Jason Reitman got nominated for Juno, of all the sucky movies, over Joe Wright for Atonement, which was BEAUTIFUL.)

I digress. It was a good night for Hollywood and Actors. But not fashion.

Cool, a 'W'. What's that supposed to stand for? Witches Brew?

Can I just say how excited I am for spring?

I've always been that annoying person who wants winter to drag out as long as possible, and I suppose to a certain degree, I still am, but lately I can't wait for spring. It's always the season that I never look forward to, but always get really excited when it comes. But now I look forward to it and it's not even Valentine's Day yet.

This happened to me last year. Something about starting second semester, *spring* semester that makes me think it's spring already. It's certainly been sunnier, and on my way to 5:30 class it's still light out. I certainly have spring fever.

I've been really wanting to go out and hike lately, too. And I suppose I could do that now, but I don't have practical shoes for it here at school. And the last time I took a long winter walk in my hiking boots my hips ached for days and knee was swollen. Cold weather apparently does not agree with my want of outdoors time. It definitely does not make me want to be in school. Although I'm putting up with it well enough. I'll be happy when spring break has come and gone.

Danse Macabre

I feel so un-healthy right now, and kind of in a good way, kind of in a bad way. Last night roommate and I had our second 'potato night', where we buy a bag of potatoes, a thing of sour cream, a big bag of cheese and butter. Last night we also bought Warm Delights for dessert, and since we hadn't eaten since lunch at 11:30 and wouldn't be eating out potatoes until around 10 because we got going late, we got Amy's microwave burritos to tide us over.

Neither of us are obviously on a diet. Right now. But considering there were several points last night after many potatoes that I looked like I could be pregnant, I should go back to the gym.

But if anyone has a magic bullet and they want to make twice baked potatoes, it can be done. Scoop out the potato from the skin, sour cream, butter cheese, put it in the bullet- bam. Awesome delciousness. Emily, I'm looking at you.

Updating seemed like a good idea. I apologize if that made you really hungry, or kinda grossed out. Either way, my bad.

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, Son.

It's about 1 am on a saturday morning, Sports fans, and I'm sitting on the futon in my room waiting to muster the energy to go brush my teeth and go to bed.

As you may or may not have noticed, I haven't 'blogged' since October. I got some harsh feedback on my lack of updating, and then I was just showing off my blog to my roommate and my friend and realized it's not that impressive since the last time I posted I was bummin' hard. I never re-updated after that because most things didn't change during the rest of the semester. One gleaming exception might have been painting an abstract series of Chipotle burritos that were well received.

And as all school things go, I got a break which included sleep, presents, and my cat.

On sunday night I found out that I'd be having class on fridays which is something I was careful to avoid in registration. But the class didn't fulfill weekly hour requirements, so it got extended (can they even do that?), but only until spring break when the class ends. And that's first aid. Which hopefully will be interesting and educational enough to get me out of bed on a friday morning at 9:30 and walk 20 minutes there and back for an hour long class. For attendance's sake, let's hope.

I also have cultural anthropology, which I've had two sessions of, and should be interesting. It's a larger class than I'm used to having for a gen ed. And it seems legit for gen ed as well. The only one I've taken that wasn't an honors course was Psychology, and perhaps I've mentioned this, but that class sucked. But the anthro professor reminds me of a mix of Harrison Ford and Michael Fielding. But he's as tall as a house, and he's so skinny I fear he may break in two.

I'm taking GCM this semester which is graphic communications management, basically print production. My teacher is the 80's. That's pretty much all I have to say about him. The first day he was having technical difficulties, and he called in this guy he knew to help him, and I swear both of them were characters both being played by Stephen Merchant. Rarely do you get to see people who are so comically awkward and unaware of it. I mention this only because I'm sure this means the class has already peaked. Is that as interesting in blog form as it is in my head?

I'm taking Design Theory and Methods. Which I've heard mixed things on. I'm not going to leave myself any room for error. This class reeks of 3D Design which I've decided doesn't stress me out because of my negative connotation and embarrassment from that class, but because of fear of my own inadequacy. So now I need to address that.

And lastly I'm taking a night class. Art after 1950. I'm taking it with my favorite professor who knows my aunt and uncle, who I got an A+ on my first midterm, and who graciously let me make-up my second midterm after I overslept.

happy late christmas