jellicle cats come out tonight

8. I love to sleep.

Hopefully most other normal people also enjoy sleeping. I probably love it more than the average person. Although I do quite often, I prefer not to function on little to no sleep (#artstudent). I love a good 12-hour night. I hate when people brag about only sleeping like 4 hours a night, and being all like "whatever, ndb, I'm fine." It's like, ugh, shut up, I guarantee you're tired. Also people who are like "I just can't sleep more than 6 hours."

I don't have any classes tomorrow or obligations. I plan to never wake up tomorrow. Much in the same vein that Peter Pan plans to never grow up.

Hi, I'm Owen Lars, and this is my girlfriend, Beru

7. I love John Mayer.

Sometimes I lose sight of this. I allow people's opinions of him to influence on how I feel about him. Let me say this here and now: I freakin' love John Mayer. I love his music, I used to/still kinda do love him personally. He's so talented. His voice will always calm me down, remind me of good times. I really don't listen to the radio, nor have I ever, so I have my own personal memories of listening his music (February 2005 was a big month for "Room for Squares")

'Victoria' has always been and will always be my favorite song of his. That and 'Daughters' were probably my top-played songs when I was 13.

(Sorry for how totally cheesy the video is. I couldn't find a good one with just the song)

Stand and face me, my love, and scatter the grace in your eyes

6. I love cake/ general baked goods.

I was having a hard time deciding what I love today. I'm not in a very good mood, which doesn't lend itself well to writing a positive blog post. Cake is something I coincidentally can't have right now because it's lent. I was thinking of things I would really like right now. Carrot cake (yum), chocolate cake, yellow cake, coffee cake; I would literally eat any of those in a heartbeat. As well as baked goods: croissants, cookies, muffins.

"You can't say that your favorite type of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying that your favorite type of cereal is breakfast cereal."

"I love breakfast cereal."

Some Unholy War

5. I love driving.

I don't get to drive very often when I'm at school. I had to use my roommate's car to drive to Fleet Farm (this won't get an entire post, but I also LOVE Fleet Farm) both last night and this morning. I always really enjoy driving, but last night I was driving over the bridge in town, and I was just like "I love this" and that was that. I can't believe I used to be scared of driving.

On another note, sometimes I wish I went to high school/college in 1997. That seems so specific, I know, but that was before facebook, before cell phones (kinda), before laptops (kinda). I think that's what college should be like (but now that I know what I would be missing, I can't give any of those things up). Bad fashion, but that's probably what I'll be saying about what I'm wearing today in 10 years. Good music (mostly..) depends on what genre. I never used to appreciate late nineties music (unless it was BSB and Britney Spears), but now I definitely do. Also, I think at that time, it was the height of me thinking people who were my current age were super cool.

Just a little love-letter to the past.

I'm a fool, too out of reach, I believe no one

4. I love this painting.

The Third of May 1808- Goya

I can never quite pinpoint what I love about it. I never really realized until now how it might be somehow construed that I'm sadistic and I love to see blood and gore. I love to see blood and gore, but I don't think I'm sadistic.

Last year on a final, I stated that I would love to hang this painting in my dining room. I just love it. The style, the subject, the colors. I do love Goya, but this is by far my favorite. I think I kind of think it's tragic and yet powerful. Does anyone agree, or am I alone on this one?

How can someone so young, sing words so sad?

3. I love my room.

I love my room so much. As messy as Maddi and I can get, when it's clean and fresh and tidy, it's wonderful (even when it's not, I still love it). We just cleaned it up today. We did dishes, I vacuumed, we took out trash and recycling, and I dusted the other day. We also bought groceries so now we're not so abysmally stocked with just junk food. We have a beautifully cozy, pretty room.

(this is not today, this was on my birthday)

The Dinner Party

Would it throw people off if I changed my blog layout? It's always been the same, and I guess for being a design student, I sure do have an ugly blog. This is probably going to be the kind of thing where I ask a legitimate question, and nobody actually comments. I don't know if anybody really reads this blog anymore, but comment if you have a preference either way.

Through the looking glass

2. I love TOMS.

I love Toms shoes so much. I have a red canvas pair, and then I just got a gray canvas pair in the mail today. (My birthday present, and for those of you keeping score at home, that was 5 months ago.) Just such a good cause, relatively inexpensive, comfortable, fashionable- the list goes on. It used to bug me when people would be confused when I said "it's a good cause" because they were like "they're just shoes..." but I think most people understand the idea of them now.

TOMS

everyone's so intimately rearranged

In a bid to be more positive, and to post more, and to steal ideas (i love stealing ideas) I'm going to post one thing each day that I love (Stolen from the one and only Rachel Louwsma- Party of Four!) I can be so negative sometimes and lose sight of the fact that I really love so many things and people. Although, bare with me, because most people are probably only used to my cynicism.

And I guess since I'm starting this near the tail end of the month (I didn't really feel like waiting) I'll do it until the end of April. I'll have to make sure that I love a lot of things.

1. I love Oreos.

Yeah, I guess that seems like something strange to kick this off with, but it's true, I love Oreos. I don't eat them obsessively like some people, in fact I really only eat them once a year, at the cabin, and those are usually peanut butter Oreos (so. good.) But last night I was looking for something junky to eat and I ended up buying a package of Oreos downstairs. Regular Oreos. I think besides the taste, the reason I love them so much is because my grandparents would always have them at their house (along with fig newtons) and every thursday night when we went there for dinner that would be the only snack we would have. Oreos and milk. I can still remember sitting on the area rug in the TV room, or up against the rocker eating Oreos and watching NBC's thursday night line-up. (If I ever eat Oreos while watching Friends, which I've done, it's a major flashback.)

So yeah, hopefully that's going to be the kind of thing I'll be posting.

Dig deep, and you'll find it.

Also, is it possible to develop dyslexia in your twenties? It's been taking me at least three times as long to type simple sentences lately. I keep spelling things wrong or accidentally writing the wrong word. I suppose I could google all of this. I suppose I just want a lot of attention, or something, right? Right.

I seem like a big bag of problems from all of my posts this week. I would say that I would quit making them so self-centered, but since it's my personal blog, I think that might defeat the purpose of having a blog in the first place.

Inclement Weather Advisory memo

Something I'm really happy about right now:

Due to the weather, classes after 12:10 are cancelled. Although this is a day that I only have one class anyway, if this were to happen before spring break, I would have had to go to first aid this morning. But since that class is only a quarter long, I don't have it anymore.

So mostly this blog says: I don't have class today.

Also:

I think I might be bi-polar.

I lift my street, I'm a guillotine.

A fact about myself:

I realized that every significant thought I've had in the past week, past few days has started with "I wish..." And many of my spoken statements have been that way, too. I'm honestly not sure what I'm supposed to do with that. I've been doing a lot of self reflection lately, and trying to figure out why I do the things I do, or what the things I do say about me. It's my understanding that it's a sign of weakness to begin all of your sentences with "I wish" and, I suppose to some extent that I'm not being proactive. A big hobby of mine is sitting around wishing stuff will get done.

This isn't a blog post I'm writing about procrastination WHILE I'm procrastinating, but it's just saying things that I wish I could change.

^I didn't write "....things that I wish I could change." on purpose. That was subconscious.

Blerg.

and now, by the way, if anyone is aware of my current school assignments, my chair just broke. I sat on it, and it broke. At this point, at 2 in the morning, there's nothing I can do to fix it.

I'm surprisingly calm about this. But that doesn't say anything for how I will feel about this at some point in the near future.

Responsibility. This is all my responsibility.

and then the storm of shit begins.

Well, it's the token "life sucks" post.

Life doesn't suck. But sometimes it sure feels like it. I'm bummed out about many things right now. Mostly things that were once in my control, and I have since let them go beyond my control. This is not completely about procrastination, this is also about dedication. I know that it's a horrible attitude to have towards things, but if I don't want to do something, I don't really give it my all. That happens a lot. To a lot of people. But I feel that that's a horrible attitude. However it's hard to reconcile those feelings when things just aren't right and there's a perfect storm of suck in your life. This probably seems kind of cryptic, but that's about as descriptive as I want to get.

I just will say that it's so easy to let things slip so slightly beyond the grasp of my control.

Well, I shouldn't say that. I have control over everything, but everything just seems more overwhelming and daunting.

I wouldn't read too much into this. My idea of being stressed out is not having enough time to sit around on my lazy ass and not do anything. I'm not saying that I shouldn't actually care about the things I'm stressing about right now, but I certainly need to stop acting like it's the end of the world. I need to find my happy medium between that and my nonchalance.

In other news...

It was spring break last week. I think that's probably why being at school right now sucks so much. It's a teaser of how life is like at home. I had just enough time to get comfortable. I had good times with the cat, friends, and family. Was (generally) well fed, slept (generally) well, and watched a lot of criminal minds. Which I stopped watching because of increased paranoia, but then I missed the characters too much.

I was working as a waitress at a cocktail bar

I had some weirdly vivid dreams last night. First, I had a dream that my family had moved into a new house. It was a really weird house, I can't really remember what it looked like, but it had a large-ish green porch and it seemed like it would probably be in Vermont or something, although I'm sure we were still in Minnesota. And then I was very aware of the fact that I could never go back to my old home again. And that depressed me very much.

And then I had a dream that seemed far less likely- that I had left my student ID, my safety glasses that I use for woodworking, and my safety badge, in France. When I was there 3 years ago. At a time when I didn't have any of those things. And of course the natural route was not to easily replace all of those things, but to go to france, and go to the house I stayed at, and asked for them back. Which is only interesting to me because I feel like I have all but forgot the useful phrases and skills for speaking to French people, but in my dream I spoke very clearly it all made sense. I know enough to know that it made sense. So in my subconscious, I still know French, apparently. And it reminded me how much I miss speaking another language. And it makes me mad at myself, because my computer came pre-loaded with Rosetta stone, I just need to choose a language. But alas, I've been too lazy. Maybe this summer..